It started early in the morning. I was meditating on the lyrics of a Christian song and I teared up. When that happens, it makes my soul feel alive as I enter into what I’m reading or praying or thinking about. I know it’s touched me deeply, leaving a lasting reference.
Then later the tears came again, this time about a serious illness my elderly cat has, and the difficulty I have in keeping him on his medicine (as he turns up his nose at the special food I have to give him.) I wonder how long he’ll be with me.
I kept thinking of people I love who are very sick or have various other problems, or people I used to be close to but no longer am, and the sadness revisited me. Even though I’m basically an optimistic and happy person, I have days when my soul feels fragile.
That feeling of sadness or weakness, as out of character as it may feel, is a reminder to me that I have a place to run with those emotions, with uncertainty. With all emotions, in fact, the heights of joy and those blue days as well. Sometimes I don’t know why and that’s okay. I just remember this from a favorite Psalm:
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 91:1
Even on normal days, I am trying to develop a mental habit of staying under the shelter, even picturing that peaceful place. I find it keeps me close to him and reminds me of his protective shield and his love throughout the day.
Stay in the shelter throughout the day, whatever is happening. It makes a difference.